+13 :-)

13 tahun. my gurls,my family,they're make me feel like im the real birthday girl. im sooo happy. thank-you-so-much!

semalem,gue,keluarga,sm temen2 gue makanmakan di bandar djakarta ancol bcs u know what the day mean for me. seru banget. semuanya kumpul. pagi-pagi, jam 12 ternyata banyak yg ngucapin selamat ulang taun. gaknyangka,gue kira pada gak inget O_O im so happy. terus,sekitar jam 5an (sore) gue jalan ke bandar djakarta. and we have dinner at about 7pm. semua temen-temen gue dateng except putri,dila,audi:-( mereka ada acara,but its okay. temen2 smp sm sd gue gabung dan itu seru. keluarga juga pada dateng semua. thats the moment that i never forget. selesai makan,kita naik perahu keliling laut. actually i still can bedain sebenernya itu laut atau danau,but btw we're in ancol,so gue bilang itu laut. lanjut,sebelum naik kapal kita makan dan potong kue dan nyanyi blablabla. and u know...as usual,fotofoto (xixixi) i get maaaaany pictures. you can see on my facebook if u want. here, Dina Nauli

bukan cuma temen-temen,tp semua keluarga gue juga dateng. i really love them. mereka nyiapin acara semalem buat ualngtaun gue. uuh,big thanks for all! 

well,semalem itu acara yang seru dan succsessfully makin' me happy. i absoulotly will always remember all the happens at that night. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! smooch! kisskisshughug!

5 things what i want in this 13 old:

1. i just wanna be a better

2. better

3. better

4. better

5. and better person

sebenernya banyak hal yang gue mau di umur gue sekarang. but i just wanna get happyness and be a better person. so,happy birthday me:-)

i just need a miracle.

before the day that im waiting for. but,it's seems like all plans don't fit what i want. oh god,please make it smoothness. i'm beging you god,pls give me ease. i just want to be happy. try to be happy.
i still hope that all the plans will go smoothly and perfectly. eventhought i know nothing can be perfect. just best. im nervous,really nervous. i just....afraid that all the plans will mess. oh God,i hate this feeling. nonsense.
all into one tonight you know. suddenly,one by one the plans was failed. i don't want all the plans will failed. i just wish all the proceed smoothly. according that i want.  so thats only you can help me, God. 


please,give me a chance.
give me a miracle.

idk.

still about my sadness. and my pain was still on. but now i feel better. i can control myself and my emotions. even thought is not 100% yet. i think,thats no the point in my tears just bcs this shit problem. but,not all my problems solved. burned in my heart is still there and will always be there i think. i can't forget him. thats a hard thing for me to remove him from my mind. but i relize that i must forget him. i must......
even thought i know that i never can.


at least,i feel much better now. last night i shared all my problem to one my beloved friend. that make me feel better now. but only 65% i think. maybe keep all this in my deepest heart is the best way. lock him in my heart and make it for my memories. but.....
i do that i would notice him quietly.
oops.

:'-(

i never felt this all before. felt a deep pain. being the sickest girl in this world. jealously in my heart hasn't stop. i am sick of being sick like this. i nvr tought all would be like this. i could only cry and keep this all in my deeply heart. i couldn't tell anyone about this. i couldn't. but,i wouldn't to be able for this all. it's sick to see all the processes running. i can't handle it. i can't handle me. i can't handle my heart. no one never know what i feel now,random. i feel like no one cares about me. i feel like i just living alone in this shit world. i just can see the problems that suddenly pensive myself. fuckin problem that shouldn't be my problem. ever.

i kept searching the begining of the problem. the begining of my pain,of my shit sick. honestly,im tired of this all. i feel like being in the situation where i was alone. no one cares. face it,no one cares. i feel like im in a complicated situation. all the problems come to me and locked me in the box who named "problems box" wtf.


this problem can't stop haunting me. u know,its like a ghost come to my bed everynight. maybe this is just a joke for you,but this is a atom boomb for me u know. being like this is bad. im tired. im sick.sick for feel the same feelings. 
and this is the peak. i feel how sick i am on the problem. problem that never finish. always come and go. thinking about problem that never finish. yes, him. and her. their. ah stopx_x

i feel like the foolish person in the world. im random. repeat one song named "sakit" for 13 times. even writing this all. but if you're me,you will feel this shit pain. sick.
accept the reality is the hardest thing in this world. maybe you couldn't agree with the reality. but you can't change it. this is the fact,you are you she is her,and he is him. thats why sometimes i hate the fact. nothing can do.

i can't do anything right now. just one. yes, one, crying.

photography -january2011-

the begining of two thousand and eleven. this is it.

nb: this is true captured and edited by me. @dinanauli

"hello" for 2011.

time run fast,now im in mid-January 2011. leaving 2010 with all memories there. welcome 2011 with joy and smile.

im looking for more hapinness in this year. especially in January,wich the mont of my birthday. i want to fix everything. change everything. try to find the starting point of the renewal im lookin for. i want to be a better in every way,trying to be pantiet with problems,can control my emotions,and especially,heart. i just want live well.

well,with the intention im sure i'll get what i want. so just wish me luck:-)

well,i want to get more anttention. not for nothing but,something that can make me smile,a place for all i share. yes, someone exactlly. i need someone. but,thats only a small part of what i want in this year. and whatever will happen next,i will try to grateful and accept what it is. and also don't forget to always try and of course,pray.

waiting for the day "29" of this month in this year. yeah,u know what the day mean of me. i can't wait. but i still dont know what the plan for that. i dont want even more. just smiles from my family and friends are the most beautiful gift for me. and i'll reply them by my smile btwB-) and thats my biggest sign and gratitiude for them. because they-are-my-everything.

and the last, hello 2011.