f.

i don't know how i feel. i just can't feel it anymore. it hurts until my bones. all hurted. and i just don't know where i should go. or even just to describe my feelings.

this is the thing i had since that thime. losing smile and having more tears. i write this because it's not happened for once, but for a long long time since late till, now. i jst dont know how to tell everybody abt what i hear, what i had, what i see, what i get, and what i feel. i absoulutely losing my kind. i dont even know who am i.

being like this is not easy. im still a teenager and i think i'm too young to solve this by myself. i need a help. i'm helpless. or even careless.

semua masalah yang dateng akhir kayak muter balik otak gue buat thinking carefuly abt everything yg dateng and goes around di hidup gue. bukan lebay atau gimana tapi guengerasa yang kali ini emang udah bikin sakit abis. i just tired for all of this shit. and no one can help me to stop this, even myself. 

i always trying be fine like nothing happened. but pretending to be fine is not as easy as you say. smile can fake your pain but not your eyes. 

everybody tell me this is just a beginning. you'll find your way so just be patient and go on. yeahaha they said like hat cause they dont know how long i've been waiting for. time run so fast and i still like this same as at the past. am i crazy or what? hahahahahaha. me don't even kno.

sometimes i have an argument with myself. cant stop asking what just i did. why. why. why. and why.

i can't control myself for a problem like this. tryin to forget this one but i never success. yes fool me. 

maybe it's just about finfing a right time and way. i believe to God, for all the ways that i've had are the steps for going to he top. yes i i'm trying to believe. and believing i's gonna be happening. 

someday. 

need.

Tugas, ulangan. tugas, ulangan. tugas, ulangan. lagi dan lagi.
how can i stop ngeluh bro kalo tugas & ulangan ngalir terus terusan kayak kencing anjing. too many homeworks esp for math and physics. physco lo smua. get a life pelase bapak ibu guru.

well tugas tugas dan ulangan cukup bikin gue stress dan frusated bgt ditambah libur mulai menipis dan dikejar deadline final exam. God, it' really not easy to being a student. guru math sm fisika gue kenapa yakalo ngsih tugas dan ulangan gak kira2. even it's holiday or not, no matter what pkknya mereka gamau tau harus dikerjain dan harus siap ulangan dadakan. bu.. pak.. PLIS.

i do really really need holiday. as soon as i write this. gak sih. as soon as possible jir i need (DIFFERENT WITH WANT, K) to refue and refesh my mind and brain abis bro. sekolah lama2 bikin muak huhu. no, bukan karena sekoah nor temen2 tp karena tugas bejibun.. berasa bgt loh asli. huaaaaaa i need a long holiday. beach, sea, sand, and their friends. i miss them. i miss bali. i miss holiday. and i ain't gonna miss school's works. ne-vah.


:)

Perombakan.

BLOODY HELL. niatnya mau ngerapihin malah kacau. it's been along time saya gak ngeblog alhasil jadi kayak orang bego yg baru bikin blog. bodoh..

by the way i feel like having a happiness yg bertaburan bagai bunga2 ditaman pas tau bsk adalah.. hari libur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya, cuma seahri, ya. tapi it's okelah seenggaknya liburnya hari kamis wich is ada pelajaran math yg amat sangat meng-enek-kan uwyeah good bye good bye. tapi terselip kenyataan yg pahit sepait tai (walopun gue belom pernah makan tai) adalah, jumatnya tetap masuk saudara2. sedangkan kedua orangtua gue enak-enakan santai dan gue enggak?!?!?!?!?! faq. kita bakal ketemu lagi, matematika.
well.. don't think too much lah ya. yang peting bsk libur baru dimulai! jangan dihancurkan sama hal2 bau sebangsa matematika dan fisika huahuha. by the way, pr fisika gue sangat ga perikesiswaan abis. asli. ini liburan seminggu dikasih tugas kayak mau bikin skripsi. gak selebay itusih tapi.. ini liburan bung!!!! cuma sehari pula tapi prnya??!?!?!?!?!?!?!
get a life bapak ibu guru tercintaku *huek.


baiklah.. stop stressing abt ur school's life, nau. gakada abisnya. hoam.

so.. sudahlah post yang random ini. selamat libur kawan!!! enjoy your holiday and fckin homework guys! (walopun gue tau paling lo lo smua ujung2nya ga ngerjain dan nyalin tmn lo di sekolah ntar) well..

gbu!
wml!
goodluck!
samlekum!
bonjour!
mulaingaco!


dadah!




by the way knp di post ini byk banget tanda serunya.. bye.

Say hello?

HELOOO BLOOGEAAAH. Mothafucka for how long? Gila sudah sangat amat lama sekali gue ga ngepost di blog yg nulai lumutan dan byk sarang laba2 dimanamana ini uhuk. Kinda miss sih actually but mager super membuatku tak berdaya. Well, hello again blogger.

So.. I've had a lot of things to tell. But by the way,baca2 postan gue la
A utu bikin jijik sendiri karena memang jijik yg bikin pengen muntah. Gak lebay sih tapi jijik ah. Huek.

Banyak bgt hal yg sudah gue lewati belakangan ini,lumayan menambah catatan daftar realita kisah dan segala tai tai ug gue alami di hidup ini. Makin lama mungkin kita makin dewasa dan akhirnya sedikit demi sedikit udah bisa nyicipin apa arti hidup ini. Im not trying to be sok puitis bro, but this is real. Gue dapet byk pelajara akhir2 ink. Bukan srmacam pelajaran sekolah yg bikin pengen muntah kayak math bukan. Pelajaran yg hard to get gitu. Bukan pelajaran kayak ngitung2 x y xy dan taitai lainnya yg sampe skg gue gatau tu pelajaran bakal gie pake pas ngitung apaan pas udh gede. Bukan. Something mean. Dari hal2 yg kecil aja dulu deh,semuanya kayak punya maksut tertentu. Everything that happened to me akhir2 ini kayak bawa reason mereka masing2 yang unpredictable bgt. Kadang2 malah sounds impossible tp pd akhirnya bener2 jd kenyataan. Ya,mungkin ini ug dinamakan takdir tuhan. We can pray, we can keep trying, we can hope, but god who gonna make it done or gone.


In otherside,gue sedih bgt dener berita yg lg heboh akhir2 ini yaitu pesawat sukhoi. Yea although gue baru tau sukhoi itu ternyata pesawat bukan kapal laut,tapi gue sangat amat berduka. Serem aja gtu liatnya. Kasian orang2 yg gak bersalah disana. Gue berharap masih ada satuuuu aja yg bisa hidup but whatever yg bakal terjadi gue cuma bisa berdoda semoga mereka diterima di sisi-Nya dan keluarganya diberi ke tabahan. Amin YaAllah.. God save us {}

i'm feelin so peaceful.

holiday was end,and i start my new class where i will trought with,abt this 1 year.

and by the way,liburan sekolah kemarin gue pergi ke Saudi arabia for umroh. and it was......AWESOME.

bukan nya gue mau belaga sok alim ato sok apalah,tapi seriusan liburan kali ini cukup berkesan. i goes to jedda on july8'11 at about...2pm and had a flight about 10 hours! dan yang gue lakukan di pesawat cuma nyantai... makan... dan, tidur. oiya,i goes to sa with my family. they're bokap,nyokap,abang,tante,sepupu,om,dan nenek. tapi ada yg double jadi kita semua bersepuluh. well,setelah meempuh 10 jam perjalanan yg mengantukkan,we're finally arrived at jedda! after took a bath,pray isya and blablabla.. for the first time,i goes to mecca and do my umroh. lo mau tau rasanya? :')

honestly umroh itu pegel bgt. tapi kalo kita udah niat dan ngelauin semuanya ikhlas,trust me,bukan nya ngerasa capek tp lo bakal semangat trs ngerasa tenang bgt. selesai umroh,rasanya legaaaaaaaaa lebih dari apa aja. asik abis. terharu. when you see a ka'bah,rasanya kyk "nyesss" serasa semua dosa2 dan perbuatan laknat lo muncul diatas kepala kyk kentut. no one can describe ka'bah and mecca, they're are the one and only. 3 days in mecca was amazing. kerjaan lo disana cuma bolak-balik mesjid ngaji sholat tidur makan jalan2 biasa tp rasanya nikmaaaaaaaaaat coi asli. sorry if i'm too much but,like seriously i felt that. 3 hari itu kurang. kurang. and the last daaaaaay...gue ke masjidil haram for do tawaf again dan alhamdulilah gue berhasil nyium ka'bah + hajar aswad. gila. woi. haaaaaaaaaaaaa. nangis. i prayed everything in front of the kabah and nothing can make me feel like that. i just feel like, this is the best place i ever been. where all of the moslem around the world goes to here,sit,going down,and cried.
more than amazing.
sooooo,done for mecca and goes to medina alias madinah. perjalanan makan waktu sekitar 7 jam dan gue yakin lo semua tau apa yg gue lakuin di bis dgn waktu se-lama itu. daaan,akhirnya kita pun sampe. by the way gue umroh rombongan,ikut rombongan sunda kelapa. oke,sampe dimadinah kita ke hotel and had some rest sampe bsk pagi dan balik ngelakuin ibadah. we goes to masjid nabawi and do raudhah. bagi lo yg gatau apa itu raudhah,sama kayak gue yg sebelumnya jg gatau,raudhah itu adalah ziarah ke makam nabi wich is Nabi Muhammad saw. kita sholat sunnah disana trs berdoa sebanyak-banyaknya. katanya ini salah satu tempat doa yg insyaallah,dijabah. the place is like...full of ornament of islam and rasul. lumayan gede. disana ada makam rasul,abu bakar dan siapa lagi gue lupa namanya yg pasti mereka sahabat nabi juga. after that it's free time! jalan-jalan. dan. ke mesjid. dan oya! gue ketemu dinda temen sd gue juga guru sd gue,gue ketemu guru sd gue for twice time dan dua kali jg gue ga negor. HE.
and finally done with medina,and now...jedda. ini bukan kota suci jadi kota yg peraturan nya gak terlalu lebay kyk mecca dan medina. jedda lebih ke kota yg lebih modern. disini gaada mesjid khusus,cuma ada mesjid terapung yg sebenernya ga terapung,cuma ada dipinggir laut. gue aja juga ga ngerti kenapa disebut nya mesjid terapung. oke. we were walk around the jedda ad found many departmen stores right there. pemandangan malemnya saik bgt buat photoshoot so,here we are! belanja dan foto2 dan gaklupa ibadah juga.

so..gak kerasa ternyata udah 10 hari aja and thats mean we must go back to jakarta. YAH. jakarta lagi. pulang lagi. sekolah lagi. tapi yaaaa.. gimana. pgn bgt balik ke mecca lg liat kabah lg nginep lg. but time wont waiting us so,kita balik ke jakarta gue lupa tanggal berapa yg pasti itu hari sabtu,pagi-pagi.


Yang pasti, ini liburan yg asik bgt. jangan lo pikir walopun disini kebanyakan ibadahnya tapi jadi gaasik. justru i can felt like so peaceful and comfort when i can being closer with God. 
alhamdulilah.

ALL TIME LOW LOL.

you should watched the new video of all time low,"i feel like dancin" u know,it's truly moodbooster HAHAHAHAHA.

so,siapa yg gatau atl. menurut gue lo pasti tau karena ini band eksis dan asik(?) ini video klip terbaru mereka and the tittle is "i feel like dancin'" dan ini super bikin ngakak bcs there's somethin can make you laugh abis2an asli. mesti buka mesti buka mesti buka. you can watch on youtube, bloggers.

kay,pertama liat nya aja konsep nya udh agak lucu dan pas lo liat gmn kocak nya mereka yg super macho dan gmn cute nya mereka pas jadi...katy perry. HAHAHAHA. my favourite part. i don't wanna tell you as detail,karna nanti jd gak surprise so just open this and you'll se!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTJkE8Ki3Gg

HAHAHAHAHA ALEX!!! you're even more cute than i imaged. LOL BUT COOL.

the another Monday.

Today is monday and as usual... pas paginya gue males setengah mampus buat memulai hari dimana semua aktivitas sekolah les dan geng2nya mulai lagi. but that's my duty as a student. so i woke up and started the day. daaaaaaaaan,ternyata yg seharusnya gue ada les di pagi itu,guru gue ga dateng for no reason. bahagialah gue,waktunya buat berleha-leha banyak before i go to school. 

after all,di sekolah jg hari ini feel like different than another day. today's full of laugh! stupid things,freakin' jokes,semuanya bikin have fun dan ga kerasa tau2nya udh waktunya pulang aja. my friends make my monday more colorful. dan lo harus tau bahwa hari ini byk free time karna guru2 pada rapat mendadak for 2hours! bahahahahaha. that was really make us happy bcs we're free altough we have some tasks,but i don't even care. kelas rame dan bebas mau ngapain karna gaada guru yg ngawas_-_

yap,i can called it..

senin yg sedikit surga.